


The Brave and the True

by orphan_account



Series: FiKi at Hogwarts [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, M/M, Unrelated Fíli and Kíli
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5813341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tears filled his eyes again as he sank down on his bed and pulled the curtains shut. He had been trying to beat down the feelings he had from Fili ever since the blond Gryffindor had smiled at him over the swampy bed they were supposed to plant their gillyweed in. As he had gotten to know the boy, that had become an impossible task.</p><p>It was a stupid thing to do. Fili was the golden boy of Gryffindor, top of all of his classes, Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and from a pureblood family that was a bastion of the Light.</p><p>Fili would hate Kili if he knew the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Brave and the True

**Author's Note:**

> I accidentally started a new FiKi 'verse. I need to be stopped.

Kili knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back his tears until he made it back to the safety of the Hufflepuff Basement. Though ordinarily he was more than happy to sleep as far away from the drafty dungeons as he could while still being beneath the ground, at the moment, he really wished that the Potions classroom was closer.

None of his friends could follow him to his dormitory, after all. Not without someone else letting them in.

He could see Fili and Tauriel shooting him furtive looks from their own table, no doubt wondering what exactly he had done to be singled out by Professor Snape, especially when there were plenty of Gryffindors in the NEWT level class for the Head of Slytherin to target. He could also feel Ori and Legolas watching him from the corner of his eye, but the Ravenclaws were much too smart to be obvious about it like their Gryffindor friends.

He knew that as soon as the bell signaling the end of class rang, they would descend on him in an instance, either demanding explanations or spouting insults at Snape in Kili’s defense.

Which he appreciated, but really didn’t think he could handle right now.

Why had he even signed up for NEWTs Potion anyway? It wasn’t as if he didn’t _know_ how Snape loathed him. Hell, he couldn’t even _blame_ the potions master. He did, after all, only create extra work for the man.

He swallowed thickly and bit back his tears as he concentrated on his potion, wincing at the pale purple color it had taken on when it should have been a vibrant magenta. He was going to fail this assignment. He thought morosely about the glaring “Dreadful” he had gotten on his essay and Snape’s harsh words from earlier. 

Maybe he should just drop the class.

It’s not like it would make much difference. He could get a NEWT in every subject offered at Hogwarts and his career prospects would still be bleak. He was just fooling himself if he thought any differently.

Shaking the thought away, he grabbed some goosegrass. The pale color of his potion was caused by too much jewelweed. The goosegrass would neutralize that.

He pressed his lips together in satisfaction as the potion turned the correct shade of magenta. Dammit, he was _good_ at potions! Snape may hate him for other reasons, but he couldn’t fault him for his work. And the greasy git knew damn well when he assigned the essay that Kili wouldn’t have time to complete it, and had absolutely refused to grant the Hufflepuff an extension. 

It wasn’t _fair_!

He blinked back more tears, but these were tears of _anger_. He knew he had to stop getting mad like this. Things would _never_ be fair for him. He should just accept it and stop letting it affect him.

His potion was finished a few moments later, and he filled two vials with it to hand in. He really wouldn’t put it past Snape to “accidentally” drop one vial so the second one was a precaution. The bell rang a moment later, and he was one of the first in line turn in his potion. Snape took his vial with a sneer but didn’t comment, and he was able to make it out of the door before his friends had even had time to gather their things.

Kili took a less traveled corridor to get to the Hufflepuff Basement, glad that none of his friends had actually ever seen the entrance to the common room opened. Hufflepuffs, like Ravenclaws, didn’t password protect their common rooms, but the tapping pattern on the barrels hiding the entrance was a well-guarded secret among Hufflepuffs.

There were a few students in the common room when he rushed in, having lost the battle against his tears somewhere along the way. Thankfully, none of them paid him any attention as he raced to his room.

That was expected. None of his housemates ever really paid him any mind. His first few years at Hogwarts, he had kept to himself as much as possible, half afraid that the other students would look at him and just _know_. His fellow Hufflepuffs had been friendly at first, thinking he was just shy, but after being rebuffed one too many times, they had quit bothering. So when he had finally felt comfortable enough in his third year to _want_ friends, his housemates weren’t interested.

He was absolutely certain that if Fili hadn’t been assigned to be his partner in Herbology last year, he would still be friendless.

Kili growled in frustration as he reached his dorm room and slammed the door shut behind him. He angrily tore his outer robe off and threw it into his trunk. He furiously wiped the tears from his face and wanted to scream. He wanted to tear the curtains from his bed and throw a few things around the room.

He couldn’t do any of that though. He couldn’t show how _angry_ he really was. And Merlin forbid anyone ever label him as _violent_. It would just prove all those stupid bigots right.

The worst part was that there was absolutely no one on his side. All of his professors eyed him like he could snap at any moment. And if his friends knew…

Well, they could never know.

Not even Fili.

_Especially_ not Fili.

Tears filled his eyes again as he sank down on his bed and pulled the curtains shut. He had been trying to beat down the feelings he had from Fili ever since the blond Gryffindor had smiled at him over the swampy bed they were supposed to plant their gillyweed in. As he had gotten to know the boy, that had become an impossible task.

It was a stupid thing to do. Fili was the golden boy of Gryffindor, top of all of his classes, Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and from a pureblood family that was a bastion of the Light.

Fili would _hate_ Kili if he knew the truth.

Merlin, he thought in defeat as he scrubbed his tears away, when would he learn? Why couldn’t he just be grateful for what he had? It was more than most people like him got. What gave him the right to ask for more?

He sighed and rolled out of bed, stopping both the bathroom to splash some water on his face before grabbing his bed and heading down to the common room and towards the entrance.

Professor Sprout had office hours now, he knew. He’d talk to her about dropping Potions. He wouldn’t be needing it, after all.

He stopped short, though, at the sight of Fili leaning against the wall across from the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room. The worried expression on the blond’s face was replaced with relief as he caught sight of Kili, and he was in front of him so fast Kili would have thought he Apparated if it were possible in Hogwarts.

“Are you okay?” he asked, hands gripping Kili’s shoulders and blue eyes filled with concern.

Kili managed a tight smile and a nod. “Yeah. Don’t you have Defense Against the Dark Arts?”

That had been one NEWT that Kili had had no interest in pursuing at all, despite the Outstanding OWL he had gotten. 

Fili shrugged. “I figured missing one class wouldn’t kill me.”

“You never know,” Kili couldn’t help teasing. “What if today’s the day you would have gone over defending against the dark curse that will eventually be your downfall?”

“Well then it’s a good thing Tauriel promised to take good notes for me,” he quipped before turning serious once more. “Snape’s an arsehole.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not going to have to deal with him anymore,” Kili said sadly, stepping out of Fili’s hold and walking in the direction of Professor Sprout’s office. “I’m dropping the class.”

“What?!?” Fili cried, grabbing Kili’s hand and whirling him around. “But you’re great at Potions! Hell, you’re probably the best brewer in the class, despite what Snape might say! Don’t let that git keep you from doing something you’re good at!”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m good at it,” he said with a shake of his head, trying not to be too distracted by Fili’s hand in his. “A NEWT in Potions isn’t going to do me any good anyway. I might as well not waste my time.”

“It’s not a waste of time if you _enjoy_ it!” Fili argued. “And you _do_. I _know_ you do. At least you do when Snape isn’t breathing down your neck.”

“But he’s _always_ breathing down my neck,” Kili pointed out. “He hates me.”

“Why?” he asked, genuinely confused. “I mean, I know it’s Snape, but there’s absolutely no reason for him to target you like he does.”

He sighed. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“What wouldn’t I understand?”

Kili bit his lip and looked down at the floor, trying to tug his hand out of Fili’s, but the blond held tight. “Please don’t ask me.”

He hated that tears were welling in his eyes once more. Merlin, what was up with him and crying today?

“Kili,” Fili murmured, stepping closer and reaching his free hand up to cup the brunet’s face. Kili couldn’t help but gasp as the contact. “I care about you, and I hate seeing you so upset. Won’t you please tell me what’s wrong?”

A tear leaked from his eye, which Fili gently brushed away from his cheek with his thumb. “I-I…” He swallowed thickly. “I _can’t_.”

He tore away from Fili’s hold and barreled down the corridor towards Professor Sprout’s office. He knew it was cowardly, but there was a reason he wasn’t sorted into Gryffindor. He _was_ a coward. He was a coward who couldn’t bear Fili’s touch and the gentle look in his eyes knowing the blond would only show him scorn if he knew.

He was in such a hurry to get away from Fili that he nearly bowled over Professor Flitwick.

“Mr. Oakenshield, whatever is the matter?” the diminutive professor asked.

Kili bit his lip and looked back down the hallway, wondering if Fili was following him and what he would even _say_ to the blond if he caught up with him. “I’m sorry, Professor,” he said in a rush. “I’m just trying to get to Professor Sprout’s office to talk to her about my schedule.”

“Ah, well, I’m afraid she won’t be able to speak with you, my boy,” he told him with a sympathetic smile. “Her daughter went into labor a little while ago and she has gone to St. Mungo’s to greet her first grandchild.”

“Oh,” he said in disappointment.

Flitwick eyed him a moment before speaking. “Why don’t you come have a spot of tea with me, Mr. Oakenshield? You look like you could use it.”

Not really wanting to have tea with his Charms professor but not wanting to appear rude, Kili followed him wordlessly to his office and sat in the seat offered to him.

Flitwick took a seat behind his desk and waved his wand. The tea pot on the shelf above his desk poured two cups of tea, before they floated down to the two wizards. His professor smiled at him. “I tend to keep a hot pot of tea ready in my office, especially for the first few weeks of the semester. It hits the spot after a particularly tough class. And when the headmaster insists on putting first year Gryffindors and Slytherins together in the same class, well, the first few weeks are always tough.”

Kili smiled at that, the animosity between the two houses was quite the running joke among the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. He took a bit of cream in his tea when the cream and sugar floated towards him, and took a sip of the hot beverage, the warm liquid soothing him as it slid down his throat.

“Now, why don’t you tell me what has you so upset?” Flitwick asked after he had added cream and sugar to his own cup. 

He stared down at his tea for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to phrase his answer. He didn’t want to sound ungrateful for his education. He knew that it was quite a big risk to have him at the school. He didn’t want to throw that in anyone’s face with his complaints. 

He also didn’t want to disparage Professor Snape. Not when Professor Snape made his time at Hogwarts much more bearable than they otherwise might be.

And it really wasn’t Snape that was getting him down. If it was just Snape, he could probably handle it. Snape was a git and the entire school knew it. Snape hating him wasn’t a huge deal because Snape hated _everyone_ who wasn’t a Slytherin.

The real problem was that Snape was _right_ to hate him.

Kili sighed. “I just… don’t see the point in continuing in some classes when I know there’s no chance of me getting a job in any field that would need them,” he confessed at last. “It feels like a waste of time.”

Professor Flitwick hummed thoughtfully. “Did you tell Professor Sprout this in your career counseling session last year?”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “I mean, I always knew things would be harder for me, but I guess I never really thought too hard about it. Professor Sprout told me that if I worked hard enough, I could be whatever I wanted.”

“Professor Sprout is a very bright woman,” the professor said with a rueful smile. “But she does not know how discouraging the prejudices of the wizarding world can be to people like me and you.”

Kili started at that. “You, sir?”

“Of course, my boy,” Flitwick said with a warm smile. “Wizards are never very kind to people who are different than they are, especially when it is as visible as the goblin blood in me is. But there are those in this world who _will_ , I promise you. And if you work hard enough, those people _will_ recognize your talent.”

“Really?” he asked hopefully.

“How do you think I got to where am I today?” he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

Kili smiled shyly as he finished off his tea. “Thank you, sir,” he said, setting his cup and saucer down as he stood up. “Maybe I’ll stick with all of my classes after all. At least I’ll know that I tried my hardest then.”

Flitwick grinned at him. “That is an excellent attitude to have, Kili. It is only when we let our fear keep us from trying that we truly fail,” he said sagely. “Now, I’m sure Mr. Durin is looking for you. Why don’t you run along? I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

His heart sunk a bit at the reminder of Fili but he smiled anyway and said his goodbyes.

He wasn’t even surprised to see Fili was waiting for him outside in the hallway.

“I’m sorry I tried to pressure you into confiding in me,” the blond blurted out. “And I’m sorry I tried to push my feelings on you like that. Please tell me I didn’t ruin our friendship.”

The knot of tension that had twisted in Kili’s stomach at the sight of Fili loosened at his words. “You didn’t ruin anything,” he assured him, turning and beginning to walk towards his common room once more. There was still about an hour before Transfiguration, after all. “And you didn’t pressure me or push anything. I’m sorry I freaked out and ran away. It didn’t really have anything to do with you.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Fili asked, falling into step beside him.

He shook his head. “Thanks, but not really. Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay!” he said in a rush. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. Just know that I’m here, okay?”

“Okay,” he replied. “Thank you. For being my friend, I mean. I never really had one before you. Sorry if I’m not that great at it and do stupid things like run away from you in a panic.”

“Kili…” Fili said in a pained voice, stopping him and pulling him into a small alcove in a side corridor and wrapping him in a tight hug. “It’s not stupid, running from something that makes you uncomfortable,” he told him, pulling away and taking a step back. He gave him an apologetic smile. “I really didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable by telling you how I felt. I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship in any way.”

“Wait, what?” Kili asked in confusion. “What do you mean, told me how you felt?”

“Kili, I told you that I cared for you, and I… kinda meant as more than a friend…” he said uncertainly, a hopeful look in his eyes as he stepped closer.

The brunet gasped. “But you can’t!” he blurted out in horror. He had assumed before that Fili had meant he cared about him as a _friend_. He hadn’t thought Fili could ever feel more for someone like him. Hearing this and knowing Fili would hate him, _fear_ him, once he knew the truth, _hurt_.

“What do you mean, I can’t?” he asked. “How could I _not_? Kili, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met! You’re smart, funny, kind, generous, not to mention you’re drop dead gorgeous. Can you really blame me for falling for you? If you don’t feel the same, I’ll understand. I just don’t want this to hurt our friendship.”

“Merlin, Fee, how could anyone _not_ love you?” Kili said in exasperation. “But it can’t work. You’ll just hate me more later.”

“I could _never_ hate you!” Fili insisted, stepping closer and grabbing his shoulders. “Kili, I _love_ you!”

“You _can’t_ love me! I’m not right for you! I’m not right for anyone…”

Ironically, there were no tears in his eyes now. He was beyond tears. He just felt empty. Here was a boy that he loved, telling him that he loved him back, and he had to tell him no.

His despair went way beyond tears.

“You’re _wrong_ ,” Fili declared firmly. Before Kili could argue, the blond leaned in and cut off whatever he was going to say with a gentle kiss.

He gasped into the kiss, melting into it for a moment before breaking it off with a dry sob. “No. Please, Fili, it hurts too much,” he begged.

“Give me a reason,” Fili demanded desperately. “One good reason why we can’t be together when we both love each other!”

Faced with Fili’s determined eyes and still feeling the wonderful kiss on his lips, all Kili could do was blurt out the truth.

“I’m a werewolf.”

Fili froze and his eyes widened. Kili panicked, twisting away from Fili’s hold for the second time that day and trying to run away.

Fili’s hand shot out to grab his hand and stop him. “No, don’t run.”

“Please, don’t hate me,” Kili pleaded, tugging at his hand in an attempt to get away. “Please. Please…”

“Kili, I don’t hate you!” Fili assured him as he pulled him close and wrapped his arms around him. “I swear. You just surprised me.”

“Do you see now?” Kili asked, letting himself be held for the moment. “You can’t love me. I’m a monster.”

“You are _not_ a monster,” the blond growled, pulling back and giving him a stern look. “Don’t ever talk about yourself like that. You are still the wonderful boy I fell in love with and don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise. This doesn’t change _anything_.”

“Fili, it changes _everything_!” he argued. “I’m a social pariah. Even if you don’t care, other people _will_.”

“Screw other people!” Fili cried. “You’re all that I need.”

Kili shook his head. “You’re not thinking. If people find out you’re dating a werewolf, _you’ll_ be a social pariah. You’ll be as unemployable as I am.”

“So what? I’ve got a trust fund that can take care of the both of us for the rest of our lives!”

The brunet snorted derisively. “Until your family disowns you for choosing me.”

“They wouldn’t do that,” Fili told him.

“Fili, I’m barely a person!” Kili argued. “I’m a _dark creature_! You could do so much better than me,” he finished sadly.

“I don’t want anyone _but_ you,” he said softly, pulling him close and giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. “Please trust me. I know it’s probably a lot to ask, but _please_. Give us a chance?”

Kili gazed at Fili’s earnest eyes, heart screaming at him to say yes. It felt too good to be true, Fili still offering him his heart even after he knew what he was. Good things like this didn’t happen to Kili.

He was afraid to take that chance knowing how crushed he would be if things didn’t work out.

Then again, if he walked away from Fili now, he’d be crushed as well. Why not put it off for as long as possible? And who knows, maybe things _would_ work out.

“Okay,” he said finally, the joy that spread over Fili’s face making him feel better about his decision. “But if you ever want out, I really won’t blame you.”

Fili scowled at him. “Don’t do that. Don’t give me permission to hurt you like that. I don’t want it, and you deserve more.”

He looked down at his shoes. “It’s going to take me a while to accept that. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s not your fault society has tried to make you think you’re less than you are,” Fili told him, tilting his chin up and giving him a gentle smile. “But I don’t believe that, and I’m going to do everything I can to convince you that you’re worth it.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Kili mumbled.

“Yes, I do,” he replied cheekily, giving him a smirk. “Because I love you. And as your boyfriend, it’s pretty much in my job description.”

He rolled his eyes. “Well, far be it from me to keep you from doing a good job,” he said in defeat, knowing how stubborn Fili could be and that there was no arguing with him when his mind was made up.

Fili’s smirk softened into a smile and he brought both hands up to frame Kili’s face. “I promise you that I won’t run away scared. Not from you. Not from us. I love you.”

Kili wasn’t sure if he believed that his lycanthropy wouldn’t eventually drive Fili away, but he did believe that the love shining in his blue eyes as real.

And even if it didn’t last long, Kili decided that he would enjoy it while it lasted.

“I love you too.”

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> There will definitely be more stories added to this series. I apologize for nothing.


End file.
